Harry's Godfather
by LondonBelow
Summary: The marauders spend Christmas together, and Lily explains why she chose Sirius rather than Remus to be Harry's godfather.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters and/or places thereof

The air had grown brittle, hanging precariously over banks of snow. Car headlights passed slowly over the road, the drivers offering a practiced caution to black ice. Somewhere nearby, drunken boys home to their parents from university howled in what might be called carousing or caroling, depending on one's bent towards optimism. Christmas Eve had come at last to Godric's Hollow, and in one cozy front room a familiar argument was taking place.

"Oh, we're not having this again!" James Potter protested.

"We have it every Christmas, I'd think you'd be used to it," retorted Lily.

"This is only the second Christmas we've been married!"

"Yes, but we had it at school, didn't we?" Lily asked. James looked at her and shrugged. He had never spent Christmas at Hogwarts. "Well, Remus and I did, all the time."

"Yes, and I didn't like it then either!" James sighed dramatically. "It's rubbish, Lil. Look, just because you had a… a crush on some strange Muggle called Ringer--"

From where he stood beside the gramophone, Remus Lupin interrupted, "Ringo." James and Lily glared at him. "It was Ringo Starr. D'you want me to drop the needle or not?" he demanded. Lily said yes as James said no. Remus dropped the needle, allowing The Beatles' "Love Me Do" to fill the room.

Lily sighed with content. "Mmm. _Now_ it's Christmas," she said, smiling. She was twenty-one years old and barely looked of age, apparently in a state of rapture brought on by the combination of Remus's Beatles vinyls and the steam rising from the teacup clutched in her hands.

James looked at Remus and mouthed the words, 'Thank you, you bastard.' Remus bowed intricately in response. "Christmas may not be Christmas without Ringer Starr," he said, "but it's also not Christmas without tea. Nothing is any good without tea." He waved his wand at the teapot, animating it long enough to pour him a mug of steaming water, to which he added a teabag. "Tea, Sirius?"

From the floor near the Christmas tree, Sirius Black made an obscene gesture in the general direction of James. Coming out of her reverie, Lily protested, "Sirius, not in front of Harry!" Sirius quickly lowered his hand; his five-month-old godson grabbed that hand and began chewing on it.

Sirius laughed. "Can't help which finger he chooses, can I, Lil?" he joked.

"It's only offensive 'cross the pond, anyway," Remus added.

James raised his mug in a mock-toast. "To the way things always are," he said, "Remus taking the fall for Sirius and Ringer Star crooning--"

"He's a drummer and he's called Ringo!" Lily interrupted, then blushed.

Remus fixed his tea the traditional way: without a wand. "I think we should drink to James and Lily's happiness," he said.

"They need it more," Sirius quipped. "By the by, when did Harry develop teeth?" He winced as Harry gurgled joyfully. "Oh, that makes you happy, does it?" Sirius demanded, equally playful, and he tickled Harry until the baby laughed and Sirius could pull his fingers free. He rubbed spittle onto his trousers.

Lily rose. "I should check on things in the kitchen. Remus, could you come and help, please? And James, keep an eye on Sirius."

"Shouldn't that be 'keep an eye on Harry'?" James asked.

"Oh, no, _Harry_ I trust," Lily replied, much to Sirius's indignation. "Remus, come on."

She left the room, Remus following. The moment he entered the kitchen, Remus shed his sweater. Lily clicked off the oven and pulled heavy hotpads over her hands. "Thank you for the fruit, by the way," she said as she negotiated a baking sheet out of the oven.

"You're welcome. I never thought when I was a child. It's a real mutt grove back home." Remus had buried and watered nearly every seed or pit from whatever fruit he ate. As a result, when he visited Lily and James or Sirius he often brought some sort of fruit from his almost-orchard. "Anyway, it's my way of saying thanks," he went on. "For having me for Christmas." It was a separate statement.

Lily shoved a spatula into his hand. "Wedge the gingerbread men off the baking tray," she ordered. "I wanted to talk to you in private. It's about Harry, and why we asked Sirius to be his godfather, instead of asking you."

He had suspected that would come up. "Lily, honestly! Once a month I would as soon kill your son as look at him. That you allow me to be near him, to watch him grow up… it's touching, Lily, it truly is. You're good people."

"I thought you'd say as much. Remus, gingerbread! You're wrong. It doesn't matter, what you are. You've never hurt us, and you never would. Do you really think we care? Is that why you won't touch Harry, why you never look at him? Because you think we would consider you a danger?"

Remus was caught. He couldn't possibly justify admitting to his dearest friend that he suspected her of mistrust, and yet not to say so would be a lie. "No, Lily. It's because _I_ think I'm a danger to him."

"Remus." Lily touched his face without thinking, resting her palm on his cheek. "You would never hurt my child. I know that. James knows that."

She had always been able to make him cry. "Thank you, Lily."

As though their sentimental exchange had never occurred, she turned away and set out the fruitcake. "It hurts more than anything to consider the life of your child without you present. Can you understand, Remus? Can you understand that while we all in the Order accept the likelihood of our deaths, it so much more difficult to accept self-sacrifice when there is another giving meaning to your life? Harry makes life so much more beautiful for its importance, and makes it more difficult to consider not being about… We, James and I, don't want to think of anyone but us raising Harry. So when we chose his godfather, we looked for the person most like James."

It made perfect sense to Remus. James and Sirius were carved of the same stone. Lily finished, "You, Remus… you're more like me."

"Oh, Lily, no." No one could be like Lily. She was too special, too beautiful to be compared. She had more goodness in her than Remus would've dared hope for in himself.

As though he had made no sound, she went on, "Remus, if anything should happen to James and me, I want you looking out for Harry. Will you promise me that, Remus? Will you promise my son will be safe, will be loved, even if James and I are not there to see to it?"

"D-d'you want to make an Unbreakable Vow?" Remus asked.

Lily shook her head gently. She would never ask that, especially not of Remus, who had never lost his fear of losing control. "All I want is your word, Remus."

From the next room came a wail. Lily shook her head. "That child… James!" she called. "What've you done to my son?"

"He's all right, Lil!" James called back.

"Then why's he crying?" Lily demanded.

"He just needs his nappy changed!" James replied.

"So you're just letting him cry?" Lily exclaimed, outraged.

"Only because you're shouting at me, dear!"

Lily laughed and turned to Remus. "Do I have your word, Remus?"

Remus nodded. "If you asked it, Lily, you would've had my vow."

_The End!_

_...reviews are excellent. I hope you enjoyed my story._


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